What is a Prayer

What is a prayer?  Five decades of searching for an answer.

BY Mark Schmidt, Th.D.

Many moons ago I was playing croquet in my neighbors’ backyard.  He was a retired minister for the local Brethren Church.   He had built a regulation packed clay croquet field in his back yard.   What little I remember of why had to do with a church mission to India he was on and left-over British croquet fields that were on the church’s property.  His group had permission to use these fields as part of some type of outreach to the common people there (This was during the 1915 to 1920 period of British Empire Occupation).  He brought the love of the game back and when he retired he built the court in his back yard.

So, I spent allot of the summer evening playing this game and chatting with him on anything and everything.   He was in his 80’s at the time and was somewhat grumpy and had a level of intolerance for ignorance.  I one time asked him: what is a prayer?  That is going to be the topic of this paper.  His response has stuck with me still to this day.  It was the basis for a later question in my religious studies.  His response was simple in the fact he answered my question with his own.   He asked back if I knew if I was asking from a faith view, a theological view or purely academic view.   When I just shrugged he told me when I knew which he could answer me properly.  I dropped it then.

I asked this very same question in a Christian religion class while getting my bachelor’s degree.  Dr. Crawford’s answer was straight forward.  He said it is either a request or a plea to deity.  That was it, no more, no less, no discussion or explanation beyond that.  I was still left empty thinking back on two times of asking.   My next attempt was when I asked the Priest at the Catholic church my wife attended, and I went to frequently also.  Father Licktieg was both a priest and a very knowledgeable theologian. 

Father Licktieg response was very informative.  He said to think of it as a short one-sided conversation with God or deity if not Christian.  This conversation is a chance to ask forgiveness for things we errored in, ask for help and strength, and to ask blessing for those we love or have concerns over.   But prayers can be short sweet statements anytime and anyplace.   So, I now had me a working description.  I still had not got the answer I was seeking of what it is.

My next shot at it came after I asked a friend attending a local seminary to become a minister.  Her answer was as vague as it came:  It is what you make it.  That was the answer she gave me.   While it is a reasonable answer.  But more accurately, it was not an answer to the question.   So, I held the question in abeyance till I found someone else to ask.

I stumbled into that person at of all places the VA, Veterans Affairs Hospital.   When you talk to God, don’t believe he does not answer in some fashion, you just have to look and listen for that answer in ways you will not expect.  This was one of those cases. 

I was sitting waiting for my turn in the radiology lab.   Next to me in the waiting room was a Vet that had to be in his late 80’s to early 90’s.  He was in a talkative mode also.  I was busy using my smart phone to actually look up some information on the minor prophets.   He looked over at my phone and said that was a waste of time looking at the old-world prophets.   Look for the unknown modern prophets.  Look for the little to unknown prophets and religious philosophers of the 1940’s to 1970’s.   I admit I kind of blew him off. 

He reached over and touch my arm gently and said “Son, I was an Army Chaplain and a theologian through Korea, Vietnam and an instructor well into my 70’s, I think I kind of have an idea what I speak of.  I might be on the last years of my time here, but I am still sharp as a tack.”

I contemplated then and reply: “good then can you answer what a prayer is?”  He smiled.  His answer was amazing to me.  “It is a personal moment with God.  It comes from your heart, your mind, your spirit, your very soul.  It belongs to you and only you and it is also defined by you and only you.”   He then thought for a moment.  Then he explained something further.   He took a pocket bible out and noted that there is only one prayer in this book, and it is not really meant as a prayer but was meant as a lesson on how to pray.  So, if you want an academic answer, a prayer is an opening salutation like holy father heavenly father.  This is followed by a praise of some type.  He said he had heard about everything here from in you mighty name, in you comforting arms and the like.  Then you go to the meat and potatoes, the body of your prayer.  The part where you ask things, state things, confess things.  This is the conversation, your intimate moment in time.   Once you are done with that he told me it was time to give God your plea.  Ask for his help, his forgiveness his action, support or just a simple sign, but it is your plea none the less.   Then you close it with the most common – Amen.  Now Amen wasn’t always used he went on. At one time So mote it be was common, then the masons got that one and it fell out of favor.  There was also the simple thank you lord closing.  He even chuckled an said he was in one country where they ended prayers in really old world fashion with “So let it be said, so let it be heard” 

After all that he smiled, so there is my answer to your question he said.   I had sat spell bound for 20 minutes listening to him.  I had not interrupted or lost interest.  I had even shut off my phone and put it away.  I had found two completely different answers, one academic in nature and one that was spiritual, that fit perfectly into what I had sought, both answering the question in their own right.  All from one grizzled looking combat Chaplain. 

I hope now I get to see him again next time I am sitting with time on my hands at the VA and we can have a conversation about something else.  I need to learn more from this man. I hope there is something that you learned from this whether you agree with what was said or not.    

So my answer to my question – What is a prayer? – is “It is a personal moment with God.  It comes from your heart, your mind, your spirit, your very soul.  It belongs to you and only you and it is also defined by you and only you.”