An insight to share

 

A  minister friend sent me this story.

He was performing at a wedding.  As he was wrapping up his brief sermon to the people about the rites and importance of marriage, he said he decided to go off-script.  The following is the best I could transcribe what was on the video he sent.

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me change course here.  As you know we members of the clergy like our counseling sessions.  I have a total of five I put the bride and groom through, two each individually and one as a couple.  I ask a lot of questions to make sure I am comfortable performing the ceremony.    During the second individual session with the bride, she said something very profound.  Now most all of us here know this is a re-marriage. They were married to each other before.  They divorced seven years ago.  Of course, my concern is what will make this different this time.   Her answer is worth everyone hearing

Let me get it out here, I wrote it down right after she left my office.  It struck me as that valuable of an insight. 

Her: That is a very good question.  Here is how it is for me.  We had issues during the last part of our 24-year marriage.  We had grown apart and at times even hated on each other.  During the seven years apart, I died inside.   I died when we signed the divorce papers, I died inside.  I felt like I had failed me, I failed him, I failed my kids.   It never changed or got better as time passed.  Then one particularly down day it dawned on me.   I had to die inside to be able to live outside.  Once I decided I needed him in my life and I wanted to live on the outside, well, it was like my soul was reborn, reenergize, that it was like springtime in my heart and soul.   I made the decision I wanted to live on both the inside and the outside.

Yes, that sounds kind of hokey to some, but look at your partner, look at your family, your kids, and those you are around.  Ask yourself, have you, they, made this same decision?   Do you want to live on both the inside and outside?  Or, are you willing to stay where you are and die a little inside each day as you fail to live on the outside? 

Now let's get these two married.

Sometimes I get asked a question

 This comes from a Theology forum I am part of.  It was asked generically in a thread I started.

Quote from: Chaplain Mark Schmidt on November 04, 2020, 11:14:51 pm

Can I ask something, Apostle Thomas was one of the three known apostles to be literate and was able to read and write.  So if the evidence that has slowly emerged that the Gospel of Thomas actually originate from his writings while he was with Jesus, does that not mean then that they become the inspired words of God or at least inspire of Jesus?

I am trying to figure out why it would or would not become inspired.

Now see I agree with this logic, but those that decided what was divinely inspired 1500 plus years ago, did not know nor have the additional information we now have.   Should it be rethought and considered? I believe so.   The issue is that it would take the Vatican, Lutherans, Anglicans, Episcopalians all the rest to reconsider its inclusion.  The argument will be how do we know we have all of Thomas's writings?  How can we include something that might not be complete?  Those are valid concerns.   

I think it deserves deep consideration.  If you take the time to read it then cross-reference the statements you will find them all stated in the Gospels and other books of the New Testament but without all the fluff and storytelling around Jesus' statements.   As you noted, Thomas was an educated and literate man.   But he also was a very no-nonsense type of person.  Think of Dragnet and the statement "Just the Facts"    So his writings were just the statements he felt were important and impactful.   He did not waste time and energy on writing the story around the statement.   

So in essence, it is divinely inspired as all he writes is in books deemed divinely inspired, but with all the story around them.  It is also why he had doubts when he was told of the risen Christ.  His nature was to prove it to me, give me the facts.  Back as the story about him shows, once he knew it was him, he was all in. 

I hope that helps to hear my viewpoint and understanding.

Using the Labyrinth

 

So I had this chance to apply a theory I had wanted to try.  I normally do not do counseling for married couples.  It is just not my area of expertise.   A couple that I have known for about 6 years asked me if I had any suggestions on how they can get their marriage back on track or at least start the communications to do that.   They went into details on what they felt were issues that they felt were causing their problems.   It struck me that there was something under this that they were suppressing. 

 So here was my solution for them to try. 

 Many of the local Churches have meditation Labyrinths located on their property.  These are used for many things.  I, myself use them to help me think through issues or to recenter.  When I am writing I use them to help fight through blocks.  So I asked them if they had ever walked a Labyrinth before.  Neither had.  So I told them this is what I wanted them to do.  Go to one of the bigger ones.  I gave them the locations.   Once they get there to get to the starting point.  Face each other, say a prayer together while facing each other and looking into each other eyes.  Then tell each other they love them.  THen ladies first as they start walking the maze patterned, she states something that she has an issue with.  He can not say a word, can not argue or rebut.   Then it's his turn.  The same applies to her.  No rebuttal, just each stating the issues all the way into the center circle.  They have to get it all out the negative.  I suggested they adjust the pace so everything is out of their system by the time they get to the center.  

 Once in the center, they were to face each other and hold hands again.  They were to thank each other for the honesty, say they love each other again, then say the same prayer from the start.  Then start the journey out of the maze pattern.  This time though to tell each other all the good things, good memories, and anything positive.  He got to start this time.   Once they got done again hold hands facing each other, say they love each other then end with the Lord's prayer.

 I told them to do all this early in the morning.   Once done go someplace and have a nice breakfast together.  They can not bring up anything said at the maze or discussion in any fashion what was said.  Talk about anything else.   In fact, not to say a word on it until the evening so both of them have time to quietly contemplate what was said by the other and reflect on it.   Only then should they have a discussion.

 I was afraid this might not work but it was at least a shot at a starting point.

 That was ten days ago.  They told me today Good Friday they had done it this morning and followed through and they feel the results were "Fantastic" as they both feel relief and understanding and feel they can now work through things.  The best thing they said this separate from each other in separate text messages.   I hope it does work.  That this helped them start on the road to communications and that they find the ability to repeat this any time they feel the need.